Alright, I’m dealing with my garbage tonight:

So, I have your St. Christopher necklace. I’ve had it for around 7 years now. I also have the coin you gave me - I’ve had that for…6 years? Man, I can’t believe it’s been that long…I’ve had this feeling in the pit of my stomach for some time - all 6 years. It felt more like a boulder at that time, but it’s slowly melted down to what’s now a pebble. But there’s still no denying that feeling.

I’m tired of being angry with you; anger requires so much energy. It’s hard to hate you, not because you’re hard to hate, but because it’s so hard to stay angry for so long. It’s been an ongoing battle with myself and my pride since we had our falling out. I would tell myself “No, it’s over” or “Deal with it another day. Right now’s not a good time”. And here I am now. Here I am, saying: I forgive you.

I’m not ready to tell you in person because I’m not there yet. I’m not at the level of growth or strength that I need to be. And even though you won’t read this, I want you to know that I forgive you.

Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for not pushing me. Thank you for giving me space. I know that you’ll never change - and sometimes you’re very difficult to deal with - but I’m okay with it. I will learn (am learning) to accept it. I may even learn to love it.